5 reasons why you DON’T want to get your girl personal training for Valentine’s Day

Funny-Valentines-day-joke

 

There are hundreds of bullshit presents you can get your girl for Valentine’s Day.  Overpriced roses that die in couple days, or perhaps that fine smelling perfume that makes you reminisce of the girl you really enjoyed boning back in the day.  Whatever item you choose to throw away your money on, just know that personal training for your significant other is the absolute WORST present you can get her.  Here are five reasons why.

5.  She is going to think that YOU think she is fat (Even if she is far from it)

I’ve seen countless women sized 4 and under think that their mate wants them to lose more weight despite seeing ribs.  This is a sure-fire way to deter your girl from your cock and steer them into their personal trainers.  She will not only hate you but one day give you a nice sloppy kiss shortly after it was wrapped around her trainer’s member.

4.  She has been secretly wanting an excuse to leave your sorry ass

By putting a fresh piece of meat in front of your girl, one that has the pleasure of seeing her for only a couple of hours each week, there is a better than average chance he will “get her” more than you, even if you have been together for over a decade.  Unless you want to hasten the demise of your relationship, getting her personal training is not a wise move.

3. It will not only insult her, but her friends will fucking despise you

There is a good chance the people your girl hangs with already hate you and put up with you because they care about their friend.  They may smile to your face but just know they all talk shit behind your back, and know all about your premature ejaculation issues.  Know that you are always on a slippery slope and one bad move such as this can send you into danger zone.

2.  You aren’t exactly the second coming of Charles Atlas

Unless you happen to be a MMA fighter, professional athlete, or just some guy who is all sauced-up, then you should think twice about surrounding your girl by someone who at least has a better body than you.  Even if that trainer happens to look like Steve Buscemi with a tiny dick, there is a good chance he has bigger quads than you and will gladly listen to your girl’s bullshit for an hour, rendering you a tool of a boyfriend/husband who is paying for their lady to get laid.

1.  You will get the exact opposite of what you think you are going to get

Think your girl is just a few months of training away from attaining the body of Sofia Vergara?  Think again….you will find out quickly your girl will have new interests and a strong desire to do anyone BUT you.  Sorry, but unless you have the minds of the geniuses in Weird Science and somehow know how to create your own model, you are going to fucked in this deal.

Bottom line, there is a good chance your dick will be seeing much less action than your girl’s trainer.  Unless that trainer happens to be a hot girl (always think threesome) avoid this gift at all costs!  Take it from a personal trainer who knows that signing her up for personal training will 87% of the time lead to some extra-curricular training.  Get your ass online and buy that shitty piece of gold from Kay Jewelers and call it a day.

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