Once again its that time of year where everyone decides to “turn it all around!” or vow to “make this year the best EVER!” As much as I love the $$$ the new year will bring my way, seeing the same person time and time again swear that they are ready to change is bullshit. There will be moments in the next week when I sit with a new client in my office and want to tell them what I’m about to tell you….
10. You don’t have the money to do it
Unless you are rich, you are more than likely poor. You may call it getting by, but when you think healthy food is too expensive there is a good chance you are fuckin’ broke.
9. You don’t have enough time
Between your screaming kids, a very unsatisfied wife and the job you hate, trying to carve out the time to exercise just isn’t possible. Many fitness assholes will tell you there is always time, but this trainer keeps it real.
8. You watch too much TV
If you think you are going to look like Jennifer Aniston or Dwayne Johnson anytime soon, think again. The media shows you an unrealistic picture of health. Remember there are many reasons there are many more people in the world that look like Precious rather than a super model.
7. You are too old
Yes, age really does matter. The older you are, the harder this shit is. Sure there is an outlier here or there, but the stereotype of an old timer in a rocking chair is there for a reason.
6. You think you can do it alone
If you think you could do it on your own, then why the fuck haven’t you done it already? If your idea of making a positive change is opting for a diet soda instead of a regular one, the odds of you failing is imminent.
5. What the fuck were you doing the rest of the year?
Self explanatory. If you really wanted to do this, you would have done it at some point during the past year. If you had an excuse not to do it earlier, you will come up with another good one to stop sometime before March.
4. A new year can’t give you motivation
Sure you are 10 lbs heavier than you were last year, and you are a far cry from that picture you took enjoying spring break many moons ago, but a new year isn’t going to motivate your fat ass to do something different.
3. You are really unhappy
If you were the least bit happy with the way your life has turned out, you wouldn’t need to make some bullshit resolution because you would be one of the special few who just don’t give a fuck.
2. Try being original
Instead of sticking with that old cliche of bullshit new years resolutions, why not be different? Here’s one for you…how about quitting that bullshit job of yours and doing something you really want to do in life?
1. You said the same shit last year
Not even a year ago, you vowed to “Get back into shape!” But what happened???
And I’m sure you will say it again next year, so until then have a happy 2015