What kind of guys you find in the gym throughout the day

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Men are much different than women when it comes to going to the gym.  For starters, men are always looking for tail in the gym.  Most women are only looking for some strange at certain times each day.  Guys also seem to be at the gym for way too long, as if there isn’t anything better to do in life.  That said, here is what kind of guys you will find in the gym over the course of the day.

5am-8am

How people actually enjoy working out at this hour I’ll never know.  You will find mostly die-hard fellas in the gym at this time.  Something tells me that big-eared fella who is now Speaker of the house loves going to the gym at this time (Remember fellow personal trainers….you now have a second career in politics when you no longer want to count sets and reps!) You will also run into a few stragglers who barely touch a weight and are looking to make small talk at this ungodly hour.  Its been some time since I forced myself to the gym in the early am but I recall the smell of BO being quite potent as most people skip the shower before heading to the gym.  If you saunter into the gym at the crack of dawn, note the tension between those dudes who want to lift and those who want to linger.

8:30am-11:30am

You will find the “gym mayor” making his first appearance during this time.  He is easily recognizable in that he is the guy who will talk to anyone for much longer than they care for.  Most of the gents in the gym at this time are those mythical creatures known as “pensioners”.  If they didn’t come across as creepy and weird many of them would have a lady friend in life.  However, due to their odd behavior and constant conspiracy-theorizing, they tend to repel the opposite sex.  Funny, because if I wasn’t close to collecting social security but collecting a check despite not having to go to work everyday, I would be even cooler than I already am.

12pm-4pm

Remember ladies, there is no time of day when dudes aren’t looking to score.  This mid-day crowd consists mostly of senior citizens, unemployables, college dudes, and that rare breed of guy like myself.  The old timers seem to enjoy dropping knowledge on these unemployed (but don’t really want to work) types.  I can think of nothing more encouraging than listening to how some guy who barely graduated high school back in the good ol’ days while you are stuck trying to pay off your school loans and finding a job that doesn’t have the title of Sandwich Artist.  While you may not find your soulmate in the gym in the middle of the day, there is a better than average chance you will find more than a fair-share of men looking to bone!

4:30pm-7:30pm

Yes, happy hour for men has a much different meaning than it does for women.  This must be the ultimate smorgasbord for gals.  You pretty much have your pick from guys all over the economic and age gap.  Young dudes, old dudes, rich dudes, wanna-be rich dudes, fat guys, skinny guys, possibly gay but not quite sure guys….there is no lack of diversity in the gym at this time.  If you don’t mind sitting general admission on the main floor at a Metallica concert, then you won’t mind happy hour at the gym.

8pm-closing

For guys this time is just an extension of happy hour.  This is due to most men working out way too long.  What should take no more than an hour somehow approaches the length of The Godfather Part II.  In addition to all the over achievers, you also get those weirdos who seem to remind you of some character from some M Night Shyamalan movie.

Bottom line….sorry ladies, but it seems to me like its still a man’s world when it comes to the gym.  You may be able to get some on demand, but you are fishing from a pool chock full o’ shadiness!

 

 

 

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