I’m not the only one who is more than annoyed when someone asks for a spot. It usually occurs at the worst possible time, like when you are pinched for time and have only a little while to workout or finished and on your way out the door. I find myself looking around wondering how everyone else in the room was lucky enough to get a pass but I end up button-hooked into spotting some bro on his bench.
Over the years I have come up with some sure-fire ways to avoid being suckered into that terrible task which never takes less than a couple minutes and ends up being repeated more times than you can count. As much as we want that hot girl in yoga pants to ask us for a spot, that shit ain’t happening. Even if by some miracle that actually does, this is for the other 99.9% of the time.
Pretend to get an important phone call
As much as life has become more of a pain in the ass thanks to the cell phone, it still is the primary means of getting you out of communicating with people you don’t want to. This requires a keen eye, as it is important to be able to identify the perpetrator without making eye contact. Then you require an ability to converse with yourself long enough to get them to move on to another unsuspecting victim.
Break a little wind
This may seem like a tall task, but if you have been training for some time and eat a respectable diet you should have no problem with this. When you discover you have been selected to provide a spot, time your gas to the moment of inquiry. The key is to make sure it is loud enough and/or stinky enough to deter Mr. ‘I need a spot’.
Pick your nose
Phone in your gym bag and short on gas? No problem at all. Just jam that ring finger of yours right up a nostril when you notice that guy looking around the gym. Beware this approach comes with a risk in that other people in the gym may see you and classify you as the gym dirtbag. This will guarantee you no interaction whatsoever with spot man, however, I would encourage you to wash your hands afterwards.
Take a very, very, very long time on your next set
Those in need of a spot usually want it sooner than later. If you get that uneasy feeling you may be called upon, quickly add a good amount of time to finish whatever it is you are doing. This may necessitate some acting on your part especially if the weight is a little heavier. But hang in there, the longer you prolong that set, the less likely you are going to have to spot ‘Joey I can’t do this on my own’.
Just say no
Everyone with the exception of your next-door neighbors and boss gets a pass for saying whatever the fuck they want, whenever they want. Well, my friend, now is your time. Like the failed anti-drug campaign said back in the day, if it’s something you don’t want to do, don’t do it! This may get you on the wrong side of some douche, but there are plenty of gym dudes who for some reason are dying to make friends while they should be exercising. Be yourself. And remember, once you say no, don’t be that guy who tries to ask for one down the road!