They say it’s good to diversify oneself, so undoubtedly your personal trainer is involved in one or more of the following occupations. I may not have held all of these jobs, but I’ve had more than my fair share. Let’s face it, personal training will only get you so far in life.
Because bullshitting happens to be a trait that a personal trainer has down pat, mixing drinks and popping bottle caps while conversing with members of the opposite sex comes easy. On a side note, if a bartender calls themselves a mixologist, they are a fucking tool.
You will not find your trainer gracing the cover of Vanity Fair or GQ, but that Target ad they did sporting a tee-shirt counts for something. Yes, looking good can pay much better than being fat and ugly.
I’ve only met one personal trainer/stand-up comic, and he happened to be pretty funny. They are few and far between, but if you live in NYC or LA, there is a pretty good chance your trainer is working on his/her material while you are paying them.
7. Real Estate agent-
Talk about fucking you twice. Not only did this person get you to throw down an hourly rate to train, but they managed to get up to 5% of that money pit they just sold you, bravo!
6. Independent sales rep-
Fancy word for supplement peddler. Whether its Isagenix, Advocare, or whatever the fuck the next big supplement is on the market, this trainer is going to try to make an extra buck off you by promoting this unnecessary shit.
For the unfortunate ones who don’t make it as a bartender, serving tables at Shenanigan’s while some kid throws crayons and spills shit everywhere is where you will find these trainers. Waiting tables and waiting for that big break.
Self-explanatory. Because being in great shape transitions easily over to the adult entertainment industry. Oh yeah and the money is fucking outstanding!
Like strippers, personal trainers always seem to be going to school for something better. Too bad going to school isn’t a job! And good luck getting a job with that bachelor’s degree in nothing if you don’t have an Uncle Lou on the board of some company!
Haven’t seen a female trainer double as a bouncer just yet, but with female MMA stars on the rise its only a matter of time. This position is reserved for the very large trainers who business owners wisely do not trust with cash. That being said, the amount of tail accumulated by this job may possibly dwarf that of a personal trainer.
Just because you are better than average looking with a better than average body does NOT mean you are fit for acting. But that will not stop your trainer from auditioning all over town with no acting experience other than that middle school production of Peter Pan. I thought for sure I was going to the be the next Van Damme, but it just didn’t work out that way.
So get that personal trainer a nice holiday gift and remind them that a jack of all trades is good at nothing.