Most people lack the wherewithal to forgo the gym when they are physically ill. In short, fuck these people. No matter where you live, it’s the dead of winter. Though the weather may not be as shitty in California as it is in New York, there is a pretty good chance you know someone or at least have heard of some type of illness going around. I take enough risks each time I venture outside my front door. The last thing I want to do is end up with a pounding headache, a throat that feels like it’s filled with razorblades, and a serious case of the shits for the better part of a week thanks to some asshole that just couldn’t miss a day at the gym. Just the other day as I was attempting to break a sweat on the elliptical, I had the displeasure of some fella with a nasty cough deciding to jump on the machine next to me. We are not talking about a lightweight, forgivable cough that is well covered by the hand. Nope, we are talking more of the loud, disgusting hack that produces quite a bit of funk that everyone can notice fly out of the mouth since this prick also refuses to cover his mouth. Of course he doesn’t, because he is that guy. My first move is to look over in disgust at this person, as if they just farted. If that’s not enough to deter them from continuing their workout, I will go ahead and lay a stinky right there. Based on my January diet, they are no doubt going to suffer from the gas face and if they happen to have a sinus problem there is a chance they will be unplugged within seconds. So if you are feeling a little under the weather during these chilly winter months, why not skip the gym and just take your kids to McDonalds?