Hello, I’m your new trainer….certified by a course I found on GROUPON!

Yes, now for $79, possibly less if there is even a shittier certification out there, you can become a certified personal trainer.  Tired of your bullshit job at Enterprise? Fear not, because after this evening, with a little ambition you can take the two hour long online training session, print out your very professional looking certificate and voila, tomorrow begin your new career. If you knew your trainer got certified this route, I would think you should pay them half as much as they charge.  After all, that’s what Groupon is famous for – getting you more shit for less.  So how can you spot these Groupon trainers?  Just look for the one who has no fucking clue what they are doing.   Better yet, just listen to them talk about something fitness related and even the most uneducated couch potato will realize these trainers don’t know shit.  Over the years I have seen a ton of terrible trainers, but just as the University of Phoenix did for college education, discount social media sites are now doing for Personal Training.  Think about this, the median hourly pay for a doctor is around $89.  Personal trainers average around $34 an hour. That’s not too shabby considering the investment to become one these days may be as low as $79.  Last I checked, most doctors average a couple hundred thousand in student loans, an endless number of years in school. Plus only God knows how many thousands in liability insurance each year for the privilege to “practice” medicine.  Now your cousin Joey who spent a few years behind bars and got his GED after a few tries can train people for better than average pay.  Just remember, if your trainer gets their certification this route there is a good chance you will be spending even more money seeing your doctor.

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