5 things you SHOULD get your Personal Trainer for Christmas

Now that you are thoroughly educated in what you should not get your trusty personal trainer for the holidays, here’s some ideas that would make any trainer happy.

1)  Cash, or dinero if you live in California or Texas

Speaking from experience, there is nothing better than a handshake accompanied by a C-note to make the yuletide just a little sweeter.  Some will say this is the most impersonal gift you can give, but I am here to say fuck that noise.  You can rack your brain for weeks trying to pick out what will inevitably become a shitty gift or ensure success with some cold hard cash.

2)  Several friends who want to sign up for personal training

Just as happy as cash will make us, so will another paying client.  As much shit as I talk, I somehow have been able to build up a large pool of clients just through word of mouth.  If you are concerned that this isn’t a suitable gift, just throw in a crisp $50 bill or perhaps a gift card if that will make you feel better about the whole thing.

3)  Food

This can be tricky.  In other words, if you have not been told by at least a half a dozen people you are not related to that your culinary talent is better than average, then stick with a gift card to Del Frisco’s.  But if you have some skills in the kitchen then carry on.  We Personal Trainers enjoy eating almost as much as we enjoy sex.

4)  A hand-written coupon for something phenomenal

I may have told you last week that hand-written coupons for gifts are bullshit.  However, there is one that will be happily accepted by any male trainer who is not named Bob Harper.  That is the ever-coveted coupon valid for one threesome.  I can’t stress the importance of adding the disclaimer that allows your trainer to approve of the third member.  No matter how grateful your trainer will be for this gift, if you involve your old college roommate who looks like a bulldog, don’t expect your name to move up to the top of his rotation.

5)  A copy of “I like your form” Confessions of a Personal Trainer

Because why wouldn’t you get them this very appropriately titled book?

Happy holidays

JD

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