You learned last week that Mondays and Tuesdays are shitty days to hit the gym, unless of course you are unemployed and can go whenever the hell you want.  Wednesdays are a little better since those people who always seem start things on Mondays reinforce the theory that quitters always quit.  Now for the rest of the week.

THURSDAY-

With most of the occasional exercisers having thrown in the towel a day ago, you may find some empty pieces of cardio equipment when you get to the gym after work.  You may also notice the wait for one of the two adjustable benches in the gym down to just a minute or two.  Even though this is one of the better days to work out in terms of annoying members, it is not without fault.  On this day you are likely to run into the guy that is working through a circuit which seems to include every fucking piece of equipment in the gym.  He will usually have three pairs of dumbbells laying around a bench, a few plates on the incline bench press, and his disgusting towel marking his spot on the lat pulldown station.  Don’t even THINK about touching one of this guy’s precious dumbbells.  If you find yourself even wandering in the direction of these dumbbells you will be warned with a “Almost done bro, I’m doing drop sets”.  Okay bro-seph, we get it.     

FRIDAY-

There is no question that Friday rules.  It marks the end of your shitty work week and you are looking forward to your 48 hours of freedom before you have to repeat that same awful cycle.  If you happen to work weekends in addition to monday thru friday, I’m truly sorry since I don’t know what you have to look forward to.  Fridays are another safe bet to have some peace and quiet in the gym since most people will be well on their way to getting hammered while you are working out.  The gym staff is on point, as if the coming weekend signifies a holiday.  The useless gym floor attendant that roams the floor and picks up after you (even if you weren’t even finished) usually takes their job not as serious.  The friendly front desk girl doesn’t even fuck with you for misplacing your membership card for the 56th time.  Count on Friday being one of the best days to get a quality workout in, unless of course your week was so bad you opt for getting shit faced at happy hour like 80% of the members.  

SATURDAY/SUNDAY-

These can easily be two separate rants since each has their own ups & downs, but since you aren’t dealing with the usual peak times I’ll just throw them together.  Weekends are a time for relaxation and hopefully less stress for everyone since every other day of the week is enough to break even the toughest of customers.  But why people feel the need to bring their kids to the gym on these supposed days of rest I’ll never know.  I get it – you want to get your kids out of the house so you don’t put them through the wall and get a not-so-friendly call from DCF. But why bring them to the gym?  You already manage to ruin movies, restaurants, and planes by bringing your offspring with you, but the gym of all places?  No kid under the age of 14 gives a shit about working out (Take note over-zealous Dads).  They want to run around and get into shit, because that’s what kids do.  Unfortunately, they do this exact thing in the gym.  As you are lying on a bench on a Saturday afternoon, I challenge you to not drop the weight on your chest when you glance over and see some creepy kid staring at you a few feet away with his finger digging for gold in his nose.  What?  You never secretly laugh your ass off when some kid who escapes the very loose watch of their parent and darts across the gym floor only to bite it on a piece of equipment and cry because of a scraped knee?  I would recommend the middle of the day on the weekends or a few hours before closing if you are looking for some space and less commotion.              

There you have it.  What to expect to see in the gym each day.  So if you aren’t a late owl and belong to a 24 hour gym or are lucky enough to have a gym in your home, there is a good chance you will have to deal with some of this shit.