Sweaty guy (Or girl)

Now that official swamp ass weather is upon us, let’s explore those gym dwellers that suffer from excessive sweating.  Not to be confused with those suffering from the medical condition of hyperhidrosis, these people just sweat from the minute they begin physical activity and don’t stop until long after they are done.  You are well aware of them, just glance down at the rubber flooring in the gym and you will notice a trail of sweat beads that leads you right to the guilty party.  It’s always disgusting when you spot one because these ‘sweaters’ seem to be fond of tank tops and minimal clothing as if to put their glistening sweaty bodies on display.   Perhaps you are unfortunate enough to be next to one while trying to get in a few miles on the treadmill.  At first, you think there must be a leak in the ceiling but a quick look over to your running mate will reveal sweat flying off his arms with each swing like a pair of windshield wipers.  You hope their excess perspiration only finds its way onto your arm or a part of your body covered with clothing, but sometimes you aren’t that lucky and take a shot or two in the face.  The odd part is that these people usually are not your typical fat asses who drop sweat by the buckets.  These are people who are in shape and usually don’t fit the profile of the excessive sweater.  They are often in decent shape, which makes the whole riddle even more difficult to answer.  I saw a candidate for most disgusting sweater of the year just the other day.  This chap was cycling away on the recumbent bike, not the most challenging piece of equipment in the place, but when I noticed his huffing and puffing it was as if he was biking to the top of Mount Everest.  On both sides of the bike there were two large puddles which looked like he took a piss not once but twice during his 20 minute ride.  What made this worse was this guy was reading a paper and when he was done with each page he would drop them into the puddles next to him.  This fuckin’ guy is nasty, I thought.  I did my best to find someone to share my disgusted look with but I didn’t find any takers.  And on this particular day, I was not done witnessing shit that would gross me out.  As I motored over to the free weight section, I was trying to find a free bench.  This is tough these days seeing how most people use these like park benches so they can chat on their phone or sit and have a conversation with the person next to them.  When a petite little blonde girl got up, I made my move to claim my bench.  As I sat down I immediately felt the wet spot.  This was not the wet spot that you feel good about, no matter how hot the girl was who was using the bench before.  Fantastic, I thought.  Luckily I was wearing underwear this day as I don’t think my gym shorts alone would have protected the skin of my pearly white ass.    Occasionally you have a sweater with class who wipes their DNA from each piece of equipment they use, but like parents who reprimand their kids, these days they are few and far between.  Now that there are endless amount of sanitary wipes and cleaners available to you in the gym, it’s this trainers advice to use that shit unless you want someone else’s funk all over your body and end up with that rash that just won’t go away.

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