No excuses? Really?

This will be an ongoing topic-just because of the sheer volume of “motivational” phrases you hear being tossed around the gym floor on a daily basis. I go into great detail of this comical lingo in “I like your form” Confessions of a Personal Trainer if you care to learn more about this phenomenon. When you stop to think about it, there are actually hundreds, if not thousands of good excuses as to why you shouldn’t do that last rep of cleans with double your body weight. Forget about the increased risk of injury and your questionable health insurance, but what about the fact that you just pulled a 10 hour work day and are trying to fight the 5 o’clock gym crowd? Let’s not mention that it took you close to a half an hour to find a parking spot since everyone else figured it would be a good idea to go the gym on their way home from work. Throw in the fact that you hate your job, and you have nothing to look forward to but your 2 weeks off a year and hopefully a few paid holidays. Without going into details such as annoying co-workers, horrible bosses, and money troubles you got yourself close to 50 excuses before putting much thought into it. How come just doing the right thing and trying to keep yourself from becoming a Fatty McFatterson isn’t good enough? Who are these overexcited gym chodes who demand more? If you have a trainer you can expect to get quilted in to doing shit you really don’t want to do, but when Joey jerk-off is barking at you that you have “no excuses” to get one or two more on the bench press who really is going to benefit? That makes about as much sense as saying “No excuses, get yourself a shamrock shake since April is right around the corner and you won’t be able to get that shit until next year!” Actually, that makes perfect since, because they are delicious and even if your pooh is green for a day or so it’s well worth it. So the next time someone gives you an unsolicited “No excuses!” in the midst of your set, politely rack the weight, collect your water bottle and say “That dumbass remark just gave me the best excuse I could think of to call it a day”. Don’t forget to stop by the drive-thru and collect your well deserved shamrock shake my friend, because you earned it.

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