Yes you on the treadmill next to me, you are wearing too much perfume (Or cologne)

I can’t for the life of me begin to understand those who decide to spiff themselves up prior to working out.  I’m not saying to skip the daily shower, but covering up with your favorite cologne or perfume moments before stepping in the gym?  I get that it’s the lesser of two evils, and I would take the pungent scent of that shitty Britney Spears perfume any day of the week over the distinct aroma of BO from the overweight guy who sweats a lot.  But I am not alone when sometimes there really is too much of a good thing.  Sure when I was a youth on the prowl I would douse myself in Aqua Di Gio and put on my best gold chain on order to impress some young lass outside the arcade but not once did I think to spritz myself a couple of dozen times before going into a gym.  Luckily I was called out early on that I should reduce the amount I was applying to every part of my body, including those parts that normal people don’t usually worry about (Yes, I’m talking about the area below the waist). These days gyms should have warning signs up for those with severe allergies as whatever row of cardio equipment you happen to be on, there is more than likely that one guy or gal that went a little overboard on the smell good stuff.  It’s even worse if you happen to work out in a small place where the ventilation is minimal and there is nothing but a huge industrial sized fan ensuring your lungs are getting the maximum amount of toxic shit circulated throughout your body.  As a guy, I get it, we don’t like stinky girls and we will take the one that smells like a hooker any day of the week over the gal who unfortunately smells eerily similar to low tide.  But for godsakes tone it down with the perfume if you don’t want to be treated like a hooker, unless of course you are at the gym looking for something other than a workout.  And guys, well, there is a reason why we occasionally sniff our own armpits in the middle of the day and if you are doing a halfway decent job applying deodorant you should be in the clear.  But if you are the guy who trims his facial hair, puts gel in your hair, and give yourself a healthy dose of cool water or that French shit with the bottle that looks like a guy in weird striped tank top, then I don’t know what to say to you. 

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