What happens when you become friends with your personal trainer

To make a long story short, nothing.  Consider progress to be creeping along at a snail’s pace, unless you happen to be in great shape and you hired a personal trainer for the sole purpose of motivation.  When your trainer becomes your BFF, gone are the days when your trainer will make you feel like shit for canceling a session.  Kiss those days goodbye when your trainer is in your face encouraging you to push through that final set no matter how exhausted you are.  Once you enter the “friend-zone”, your tortuous workouts are now replaced with pseudo-therapy sessions.  Count on a whole lotta talking and minimal moving around.  If you listen to Howard Stern, you’ve heard him bitch about his cellulite filled ass and protruding belly on a weekly basis.  After complaining about the shortcomings in his physique, he will then praise his ‘friend/ trainer’.  Something tells me his trainer is pocketing a whole lot more than the average pay for a client like the King of all media, and yet he is now irreplaceable thanks to the ‘friend’ status.  How about Oprah?  If her fucking trainer, Bob, is so great, then why does she still look like she shops at Mumu’s ‘R’ Us?  I can probably count on a couple of fingers the times I’ve seen that woman look like she was even remotely in shape, and for all I know, it was probably some excellent photoshop work.  Here’s the greatest part, these trainers are no longer accountable for results because after all, how shitty of a friend would their client be if he/she fired them?  You can argue that you can have it both ways, but I’m here to tell you that unless you have a roster of celebrity clients, pick and choose your friendships wisely.  Take it from this asshole who took it a step further and ended up dating one or two of my clients.  As soon as I was locked into that relationship, gone were the monthly checks for training sessions.  So if you think you want to become friends with your personal trainer, better to give them the heave-ho and relieve them of their duties beforehand.  Unless of course you don’t give a shit about accountability and results, in which case you should just write me a check each month so I can give you tips on making friends.

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