Nutrition tips from JD-Volume II (The hard truth)

I should warn you – I am angry.  I just witnessed an oversized person park in a handicapped spot for no apparent reason, other than being abnormally large.  With summer winding down and cooler autumn breezes just weeks away, why the fuck do people insist on bulking up for the winter?  Ironically, these same people who will double in size in these next few months are the same ones who spent a ton of dough on training or classes to get in shape for the summer.  They must let everyone know each and every time they work out and how oh so difficult it was.  Tip for you supposed friends of these people, stop commenting on how proud you are or how good they look.  These people need to get their motivation from inside and you are sabotaging their efforts by cheering them on.  It’s as if everyone thinks they are professional baseball players and just played a grueling six-month, 162 game season.  Sure, for these guys several months of coronas and shitty food is well deserved.  But for the average Joe who sits on their ass longer than they do anything else for the entire year, this type of attitude will surely lead you to do your clothes shopping at the Big & Tall stores before long.  I haven’t forgotten about you ladies.  It’s not as if that muffin top just appears each October, you literally have two hands in the matter.  And those two hands are the ones feeding yourself like there is no tomorrow.  Sure, you claim to enjoy wearing your sweatshirts for all occasions but I see right through that large sweatshirt.  As trainers, we enjoy the upcoming feeding frenzy since this ensures our success come New Years.  You don’t need trainer Bob to tell you to watch your diet or some fancy exercise that involves pole dancing to burn more calories.  Here’s the fucking secret……eat less.  Skip lunch,  stop eating after 7pm, skip dessert, don’t have seconds of everything, and try moving your fat ass a little more.  If you notice that little jiggle growing, don’t ignore it – do something about it.  If you say you don’t know what to do, you’re probably a moron if you can’t figure it out by now.  There it is, and if you don’t like it just go ahead and save up while you blow up so you can just line another trainer’s pocket come January 1st.

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