Here are some of the bullshit excuses I’ve heard over the years. Stay tuned for more top ten lists covering all the craziness you will find in the gym.
10. “There is no parking at the gym and it just wouldn’t make sense wasting time driving around trying to find a spot” (I actually get this one, I have driven away more than once after making a lap or two around the parking lot)
9. “It’s way too crowded in there at this time to workout” (Where and when isn’t it too crowded these days?)
8. “It’s been a rough week, I’ll get back on track on Monday” (MANY fat people say this)
7. “It’s been a rough month, I’ll get back on track next month” (EVERY fat person says this)
6. “I hurt my knee playing football 25 years ago, and it still hurts today when I do ANY kind of exercise” (I should call you a big pussy right now but I won’t)
5. “I don’t want to cancel my training session, I would like to re-schedule it” (Are you fucking serious?)
4. “I’ll just work out at home tonight” (yeah right)
3. “I don’t need to workout, I just watch what I eat” (I would agree with you on this if you weren’t shaped like a pear)
2. “I’m just not feeling it today” (Feeling it? Like you feel it any other day? Why don’t you just say you are feeling lazy today? Oh, I forgot-I need to be encouraging)
1. “My wife/husband is having an affair” (You can pretty much do whatever the fuck you want in this case and I would encourage you 100% as this is the only excuse in my book to skip the gym as long as you like)
Alright, after I got back in my chair since I fell off laughing I am admitting that I am guilty of numbers 9,8,7,5,3, & 2. Boy you would totally kick my butt if you knew me. I would like to add another excuse to your list: The people in this gym are sweaty, stinky, and do not properly wipe down the machines. I will say though that after fighting “baby weight” for 15 years, yes my kid is 15 now and I was still blaming the pregnancy, at 42 I finally got my “ish” together, lost 37 lbs and as Trace Adkins says I am now “one hot mamma”! So despite all of the b.s. you can still pull it together.