Nice shoes (Even if they make you look like a tool)

If you think they can’t keep coming up with apparel that makes you laugh at someone in the gym, think again.  Headbands, short shorts, and lifting belts make way for these finger toe or five finger or whatever the fuck they call these shoes.  I have a feeling I’m not the only one that shakes my head when I see these clowns sporting that pricey foot rubber around the gym floor.  Although they have been around for several years, somehow there are more suckers than ever these days.  Like the McDLT which was a novel idea at the time and had a few good years in the spotlight, these finger toe shoes should have faded away by now.  But by the looks of things, it appears this goofy footwear is here to stay.  Growing up in the northeast, there was a water park by the name of Action Park.  There were probably few places in the world like it, as they had a 25 foot cliff jump and a waterslide so high they had a net over the top just in case you fell out of it.  Needless to say, after numerous severe injuries and I believe a couple deaths, the place finally shut down.  What I remembered most about that place in the good old days of the late 80’s was the state of the art aqua shoes that the rich kids would sport in the piss pool, I mean wave pool.  I looked at those kids with envy as I was forced to endure the hot asphalt and rocks (not to mention the severe fungus that still haunts me today) on my bare feet.  How was I to know that 20-plus years later someone who would prove much smarter than I took that same shitty rubber material, enclosed the toes, and viola’, made several millions by calling them the ‘best’ shoe for running.  To complicate the matter, idiots across this great nation are touting their benefits having no clue what the hell they really do and the stories I hear are unreal.  It’s like the game where you pass a story to the person next to you by the campfire and by that last person, you are left with maybe a word from the original story.  The other day I heard this chode unloading what kind of sounded like a sales pitch to an innocent member, attempting to recall what the sales guy used on him.  Chode with special shoes, “You know that in Kenya they run without shoes and they are the fastest people on earth.” I couldn’t help but reflect on that statement, did he just say that a Kenyan can beat that dude from Jamaica that smokes everyone he runs against while wearing shoes?  “They feel so good on my feet when I run”.  Really?  So when you happen to run over a rock, or god forbid stub your toe on a the edge of something, you blame it on anything but not having proper protection on your feet?  The bullshit kept coming and sure enough by the end of the spiel, this impressionable gym patron was out the door ready to drop a hundred bucks on the wonder shoes.  I don’t have time to touch on the fact that there are no socks required, thus the funk that must come out of these ‘special shoes’ after a nice jog must be tremendous.  Remember, when something sounds too good to be true and costs a whole lot of money, it usually is a rip off.  By the way, I did try a pair and after stepping on a thumb tack I quickly realized these weren’t even good for casual use in the home.  Look out for more products to be shared right here on JD’s blog.

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